Bulwer Purple Prose Awards Supper – Jackie Hyman wins the Grand Pittance

It was a middling dark and soon-to-be stormy night, last Saturday evening at the Bulwer Community Centre. It was the Bulwer Purple Prose Awards Supper. And emcee Ross Murray set the stage with some Townships-soaked purple prose of his own.

“We are here tonight to put the bull back in Bulwer. Maybe you’re not Sherbrooke why you came or maybe you think this contest doesn’t have a leg to Stanstead on. Maybe you’re grumpy because you got your Ascot in the door coming here tonight. But whether your goose is Coaticooked or you’re Compton your chickens before they hatched, or if you don’t Knowlton whether you’re coming or going, whether you’re a poor man or a Richmond, don’t come here tonight thinking, “Magog, what have I done,” because I promise every child, woman and Mansonville, that while you’re Eaton your dinner, we’re going to do Asbestos we can tonight to have a wonderful time before the evening is Dunham. And if not? Waterloo going to do about it?”

The crowd roared and clapped.

It was a smaller crowd than last year, just 63. Some storm-sky souls didn’t show up, said Peggy Roy, worried about the huge snowstorm slated to begin later that night. But still, the benefit event for the Bulwer Community Centre brought in about $1300. “We’re happy to do it. It brought in a different crowd. We were pleased,” she said. “The people that came enjoyed themselves.”

The music wowed them. The five-man Mostly Swing group. And the Bulwerian bass and fiddle duo, Janice LaDuke and Dave Gillis.

The spread was hearty, starring beef, pork, vegetarian “meat” loaf, an array of cheeses, breads, vegetables, salads, and scrumptious desserts. All prepared by Peggy Grapes and her Bulwer Committee.

And then the awards. Jackie Hyman of Sawyerville won the Grand Pittance for overall best first sentence to the worst novel ever. She also took first prize in the Local History category. And here is the winning sentence, semi-colon and all:

“Exhausted and disheartened, his heavy pack sat heavy as a lie on the conscience of an honest man after six days of rough and tumble slogging o’er sylvan woods and rippling brooks, and thus, Joshua Foss, tired, worn and frustrated, shuffled off the coil of his serpentine journey through the wilds of New England towards the urbane city of Montreal by erupting, like the pit of an overripe chokecherry squeezed out by a child’s fat hand, into the centre of the village of Eaton Corner which, he was delighted to discover, was in the thralls of a rather luridly beautiful autumnal season making the unpleasant memory of his arduous journey disappear in a puff of sunlight filtering through the falling leaves; he decided to stay.”

In the Adventure category, David Oliver won first pittance, and Carole Martignacco came in second. For Crime/Mystery, David Oliver took First again, and Judy Palmer, Second. Taking the Pittance in the Fantasy section was Jaime Dunton, with Mead Baldwin in second place. For Legends, Susan Mastine won first prize, and David Oliver won second.

Second place in the Local History category went to Judy Palmer. And finally, Beverly Dame and Maurice Crossfield got the first and second prize in the Romance category.

Several of the winning sentences were inspired by current events – the elections, the thought of referendum, and the Lac-Mégantic train disaster, for example. Others related to figures from the region’s history – Joshua Foss, Donald Morrison the Megantic Outlaw, and William Stone, for example. All were verbose, convoluted, and judging from the applause and laughter, funny.

The whole Bulwer Purple Prose Project – now in its second year – was inspired, of course, by writer and politician Lord Bulwer-Lytton. He visited Willliams Corner in the mid-1800s, and then the place was re-named in his honour. Thus Bulwer came into being. Bulwer-Lytton’s entire name was “Lord Edward George Earle Lytton Bulwer-Lytton.” “His very name needed an editor,” Ross Murray joked.

“For ‘twas this privileged peer who put pen to paper and produced perhaps, for the period, the most profoundly pompous and perplexingly problematic prologue to the prose that proceeded.”

This year’s organizing committee was Mead Baldwin, Wanda Dillabough, Rachel Garber, Jerome Krause, Janice LaDuke of Black Cat Books, Michelle Lapitre, Linda Morra, Judy Palmer and Peggy Roy. The Centre d’Action Benevole du Haut St Francois contributed $100, printing and door prizes. Dick Tracy made the trophies, wooden pedestals sporting a now-rare Canadian penny.

- Rachel Garber

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Are you coming tonight?

The winners have been chosen and the tables are set.  The snow is supposed to wait until 11pm.  If you already have tickets, we hope to see you there!  If you don’t have tickets yet, we have a few places left.  Contact Peggy Roy at 819-640-3571.

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News Flash!
The submission deadline has been extended to March 21, 2014. Whip out your purple pen and shoot your entries to us by email at bulwerppp@gmail.com NOW…
And then…

ARE YOU COMING TO THE 2014 AWARDS SUPPER?

We are honoured by the gracious participation of many Esteemed albeit Wretched Writers in the Bulwer Purple Prose Literary Contest. Please help us show our gratitude and admiration for the purple products of their quills.

Do you yearn to know to whom the Grand Panjandrum will award the awards? Emcee Ross Murray, music by the Mostly Swing Band, and the Bulwer Community Centre combine their genius to offer a remarkably fun Awards Supper on Saturday, March 29, at 6 p.m.

Do you have your tickets? If not yet, could you be so kind as to reserve yours tout de suite? Deadline: Wednesday, March 26.

Here’s how and where to reserve:

 Awards Supper:  Sat. March 29 at 6 p.m.,

Bulwer Community Centre, on Jordan Hill Road, Bulwer.

Get your tickets for the supper at:

Bulwer Community Centre, Peggy Roy, 819-640-3571

Black Cat Books, 168 Queen, Lennoxville, 819-346-1786

Email: BulwerPPP@gmail.com

 Good food, good fun. MC: Ross Murray.  Students, Seniors, and those in 1800s costume $20; Others $25

Proceeds help support the Bulwer Community Centre

Rules& Info: http://bulwerpurpleprose.wordpress.com/

Welcome, Wretched Writers, All!

 

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Looking for more purple prose!

We are excited to announce that the 2014 Bulwer purple prose project is now underway, and we are already accepting entries. Are you ready to try your hand at purple prose? If so, send your entries to us by email: bulwerppp@gmail.com.

Have a look around the website and check out the 2013 entries if you are looking for a little bit of inspiration…

Have questions? Send us an email or contact us via our contact form below. We’ll get back to you as soon as we can.

Happy writing!

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The pittances have been awarded!

Visit the Purple Prose 2013 section of our website to learn more about this year’s winning entries and the wonderful awards supper that took place this past Saturday, April 6.

Feel inspired by what you see (and read)? Want to try your hand at some purple prose? Do send us your creations by email at bulwerppp@gmail.com. The deadline for entries for the next edition of the Purple Prose Project is March 15, 2014. The rules and other important information can be found in the About section of this website.

We look forward to reading your purple prose!

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Are you coming to the awards supper?

ARE YOU COMING TO THE AWARDS SUPPER?

We are honoured by the gracious participation of many Esteemed albeit Wretched Writers in the Bulwer Purple Prose Literary Contest. Please help us show our gratitude and admiration for the purple products of their quills.

Do you yearn to know to whom the Grand Panjandrum will award the awards? Are you ready to combine Quirky with Turkey? Emcee Ross Murray, music by the Mostly Swing Band and the Bulwer Community Centre combine their genius to offer a remarkably fun Awards Supper this Saturday, April 6, at 7 p.m.

Do you have your tickets? If not yet, could you be so kind as to reserve yours tout de suite? Deadline: Wednesday, April 3.

Here’s how and where to reserve:

The Bulwer Purple Prose Project

Invites you to a Turkey Supper with Some Quirky Literary Awards

 Awards Supper:  Sat. April 6 at 7 p.m.,

Bulwer Community Centre, on Jordan Hill Road, Bulwer.

Get your tickets for the supper at:

Bulwer Community Centre, Peggy Roy, 819-640-3571

Black Cat Books, 168 Queen, Lennoxville, 819-346-1786

Email: BulwerPPP@gmail.com

 

Good food, good fun. MC: Ross Murray.  Students $15; Others $20

Proceeds help support the Bulwer Community Centre

Rules& Info: http://bulwerpurpleprose.wordpress.com/

Welcome, Wretched Writers, All!

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Only four days left to submit your entries!

There are only three days left to submit your entries for the Bulwer Purple Prose project. If you have something to share with us, send it to bulwerppp@gmail.com.

Be sure to read through today’s newly added entries for some inspiration…

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